one year ago

this week in church we studied nehemiah 9 which is a prayer recounting the faithfulness of the Lord in the life of Israel. if you talked to me in the last month, you know that i’m struggling a lot at my job…and so in the midst of searching for another job, praying through what i want to be when i grow up, thinking about life long term in charlottesville, i want to recount God’s faithfulness in bringing me to charlottesville.

last year i prayed about moving overseas for 2 years. after lots of tearful conversations with Jesus, my family & my roommates, i obeyed God & filled out a long scary application. when i emailed my pastor for a recommendation, he emailed me back & said the following: “God loves you & I have wonderful plans for your life. just kidding but i would like to talk to you about an opportunity on the horizon.” little did i know how confused that was to make me. as we sat in his living room dreaming about what we longed for church to look like, i started to get excited about this thing called church planting…and really confused about what God was up to. most of my journals during the next few months were pleading for God to tell me where i was supposed to be after i graduated…in the middle east or in virginia…and to give me patience to wait in the not knowing.

a year ago (almost to the day) i flew to virginia for four days to hear about lots of opportunities to go overseas to tell muslims about Jesus. it was a pretty crazy four days. i cried a lot. i prayed a lot. i met some sweet friends who are now on telling people about jesus on all different continents. before i left i remember sitting the hoover’s living room & christine praying that God would give me direction during those four days. i remember at the beginning of the four days wondering how on earth i’d have direction in a few short days…and having no doubt by the end of the week.

in a place full of people with God’s heart for the nations, i had so many good conversations with people about God’s work in the states. i talked to 2 couples  who almost went overseas & instead stayed in america & ended up getting married. i talked to a guy who helps non profit organizations in his city with workers from his church. they meet physical needs and share the gospel with people. i met a girl from Charlottesville….what? plus God basically shut all of the options for me to go where i longed to go doing what i had a heart to do.

i remember processing with rachel. i remember listening to wisdom from my parents. i remember weeping with a sweet friend who loves the middle east more than i do when we realized we couldn’t go together. i remember a sweet conversation with jess about life. i remember kendra praying for me. i remember marc letting me not be ok when my grandma died while i was still in virginia. i remember kyle’s voicemail message after i said that i’d move to virginia to help plant a church. and i remember God’s faithfulness. he was so evident & so clear. he gave me the comfort of new friends & old friends. i was reminded of the fact that stuff in this world is really unstable. things can change like that. but followers of jesus will receive a kingdom that cannot be shaken (heb 12:28).

God is not big on giving me the big picture, the ten year plan, how every detail is going to work out. but whenever i’ve needed to know, he’s made it clear. in the midst of searching for jobs, of not knowing the next step, i cling to the fact that he’s been faithful in the past…and he’s not going to stop in the future. though things have not always come easily here in charlottesville, i have a lot to be thankful for.

“by a pillar of cloud you led [your people] in the day, and by a pillar of fire in the night to light for them the way in which they should go.” nehemiah 9:12

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